Everything’s Just Fine in Cupertino — Siri

Have you ever spotted Jason Vorhees, complete with his trademark hockey mask and knife, out on a day that isn’t Friday the 13th? Surprisingly, the infamous character from the films has a soft spot for Siri. Here’s how we discovered this…

While advanced chatbots have consumed vast amounts of information, Siri seems stumped by the simple yet profound inquiry: “What month is it?”

Who among us can say they haven’t had a moment like that? More importantly, if you’re unaware that it’s May, you might be on the losing end of the joke.

However, not everyone has a flawless memory of the calendar, capable of recalling when the next Friday the 13th will land. As demonstrated by Mr. Vorhees, certain professions require an acute awareness of these dates.

Sadly, our trusty Siri isn’t much help in this regard. Go ahead and ask her about the upcoming Friday the 13th, inquire about the last one, or pose a hypothetical question about who could win in a knife fight: Siri or ChatGPT?

The joke I aimed to illustrate here is that if you want straightforward date-related answers, you might have to turn to ChatGPT, even though Siri could likely tackle the conversational elements. Nope. She hands it off to ChatGPT instead.

In other news, Apple has restructured its Siri leadership today, so expect her to be back to her “astonishing” form shortly.

This Tim Rockwell—or is it Mike Rockefeller?—will supposedly accomplish for Siri what the AI experts from Google, Siri co-founder Tom Gruber, and high-profile executives like Craig Federighi, Eddy Cue, Bill Stasior from Amazon, Dag Kittlaus, Adam Cheyer, and even Tim Cook couldn’t manage.

Oh wait, it’s Tim Rockwell, according to Siri. Or maybe Jason? That’s it! Jason Vorhees is now at the helm of Siri, ready to tackle those critical bug reports that date back to 2012!